The Lady's not for turning
by Mallorysgirl
Summary: Set months after China in your hands.
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: Ok so not only have I fallen in love the lovely Charlotte Salt from Casualty, but I have the biggest crush on the feisty and sexy Jac Naylor from Holby City. I have always loved her and Joseph's relationship, so I've decided to write something just for them.

**The Lady's for turning**

Jac Naylor sat in the small doctors waiting room skimming over the pointless articles of another trashy magazine. Sighing deeply she threw it down on the table and went back to her previous task of staring into space. She hated going to the doctors. That's what happens when you spend day after day working in a hospital, you neglect your own health. And are loathed when you have to do anything about it.

"Ellie Taylor, room one please," That was her que, Jac got up and headed towards the door. It's amazing how quickly someone can feel better when you bribe them with £50 to come back tomorrow. Unethical maybe? But desperate times call for desperate measures and this was not a situation where giving her real name would have gotten her anywhere. So Jac or should I say Ellie headed towards room one. The door was open when she approached and the doctor acknowledged her without looking up. "Ah Miss Taylor. How can I …" The doctor stopped mid sentence!

Even though she had prepared herself for this, looking into his beautiful blue eyes Jac was lost. All she had to do was muster up the words 'Hello Joseph' but yet she stood in front of the love of her life dumbstruck.

Joseph's eyes scanned Jac . Her face was still as beautiful as ever. However her eyes betrayed the rest of her features. Joseph could see the tears falling from them. Jac looked so scared and lost, he wondered what had happened to his strong and feisty girl. Letting his eyes wonder over her beautiful body he caught his breath. Jac Naylor was different, she had changed. She noticed his eyes watching her and quickly realized what had stunned him so much. She knew that once he saw her he'd have questions, questions that would be hard to answer. Protectively she placed her right hand over her very swollen belly "The baby's yours Joe"

Some people say silence is golden, for Jac Naylor it was torture. He sat there for the longest time starring at her round abdomen. "You keep your mouth open like that for much longer you'll catch flies," she informed him.

"Sorry," he said not much above a whisper. His voice was shaky and unsure. "Jac I…"

She was having his baby. The girl with the damaged heart was having his child, and soon from the look of it. He would be a father again and Harry would have a little brother or sister. The thought made him smile. "When are you due?"

"Four weeks," Jac confirmed "I'd have told you sooner but I figured it was better to do it in person rather than over the phone. I'm sorry I should have told you sooner"

"Yes you should have," Joseph wasn't annoyed, he was a little too shocked to be annoyed. But he was disappointed though. He thought Jac knew she could come to him if she needed to. Granted he hadn't really been in touch over the last six months. Sure he had tried to stay in contact. But it got hard. Especially when you miss the other person so much that you know that the limited contact will surely drive you crazy. So you try to be brave and cut all ties together. It hadn't been easy mind. There had been many nights where he had lay awake starring at his phone willing her to text or call him. Every day he checked his email and answering machine in the hope that she would communicate with him in some way. Show him that she was still alive and still cared, but she hadn't and the thought of ringing her and being rejected was almost too much to bear, so he had left her to it. 'Your such a fool Joseph,' he scolded himself 'All this time she needed you and you weren't there'

"I'm not here to ask you for anything," Jac informed him interrupting his thoughts "If you want to be part of the baby's life that would be great. But I won't put any pressure on you. I know you might need time,"

He nodded slowly, his limited vocabulary made Jac feel uncomfortable. She needed to get out of there. Grabbing a pen and the prescription pad off his desk Jac scribbled on it. "This is the hotel I'm staying at," Jac the told him "The room number is 105. We need to talk properly but I don't think here and now is right," handing over the paper Jac headed towards the door. Turning back she smiled "You look good Joe, Country life suits you," and with that she left the room empty all but a very quiet and confused Joseph trying to make sense of what just happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The walk back to the hotel was a pleasant one for Jac. Who'd have thought the ultimate city girl could start to warm to the country. It was summer time and she could feel the warm sun on her bare shoulders. Smiling Jac was glad that she was going to have a summer baby. Hopefully by Christmas she could have a drink. She missed red wine the most. After a heavy day at the hospital she'd come home, kick back with a glass or two and forget her troubles.

She missed work, she'd only been on maternity leave a couple of weeks but she was already bored. She wasn't really one for lazing around. She had considered doing something constructive in preparation for the birth but she wasn't one for knitting booties or decorating nurseries. Instead she used her credit card in mothercare and convinced Greg he was a dab hand with a paint brush. The funny thing about Greg Douglas was after many years of him acting like a total pain in the arse he finally came through. When Jac needed someone to support her he had been there. It happened a couple of months ago, there had been a scene on the ward and a patient had become aggressive and Jac had been in the way. She had hit the floor so hard that the pain in her stomach had been crippling. Greg had been the one to check her over. All he had asked was if she was ok and the normal calm and cool Jac Naylor had fallen apart. Crying like banshee she broke down and told him everything. How Joseph had left her, how she was pregnant with his child and alone and scared. He held her as she cried and promised her that he would keep her secret. And he had, he covered for her when she was late due to spending many a morning throwing up, he had even accompanied her to her next scan.

She felt slightly guilty when she didn't correct the nurse doing the ultrasound when she assumed Greg was the father. Come to think of it Greg hadn't either. She had to admit that she liked having him around. He had become her closest friend, her only friend if she was honest. Things would be so much easier if the baby were his, yet her heart couldn't deny that she was glad she was having Joseph's baby. This was the only way she got to keep apart of him. She very much doubted that he would actually want to reconcile with her. He had pretty much forgotten her after the first couple of months after his departure. But she was sure that he would want to have something to do with the baby though. Joseph loved children, he pretty much doted on Harry always putting him first Jac thought glumly, remembering how she ended up in this place.

Jac made her way to the village shop and wandered around aimlessly looking for something that might take her fancy. She had been getting cravings for anything lemon at the moment. Normally she hated lemon but what the baby wants the baby gets. The sound of two women at the counter gossiping caught her attention.

"That Doctor Byrne is well fit. I've started making up reasons to go to the surgery," Jac rolled her eyes as the young brunette swooned over her man. She smiled to herself she liked the idea of him still being her man.

"There's no way he would go for you Lee," her friend laughed

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well come on Lee," she grinned " `He's like champagne and well your like a bottle of white lightning,"

Jac chuckled to herself trying really hard not to be noticed.

"Well for your information, the doctor and I have a date this evening," Lee lied unconvincingly.

"As if," her friend mocked.

"Fine don't believe me," Lee spat defensively "I don't care, but just you wait and see the doctor will be mine,"

Jac approached the counter trying to contain her laughter. Was this girl for real? Joseph wouldn't go near her with if she were the last woman on earth.

"I haven't seen you round her before," Lee's friend commented as she rang Jac's purchase through the till.

"I've just moved here," Jac lied.

"I'm Lucy Matthews," The girl said holding out her hand towards Jac.

Taking it, Jac didn't know what made her say it but the look on the girls' faces was well worth it. "I'm Jac Byrne," As lies go it was a big one, but she liked the sound of her new name when it rolled off her tongue.

"Any relation too Doctor Byrne?" Lucy asked.

"Yes, he's my husband," Jac cringed inwardly as the lie got bigger.

"We didn't realise the doctor was married," Lee barked looking very annoyed that her plans to seduce Joseph were squashed.

"I've been working away," Jac answered "But you know how it is, life gets in the way," She placed her hand on her belly and rubbed it gently "And this little guy kind of made my joining Joseph a little quicker than expected," This lie was getting so big that it might soon be able to form it's own website, Jac thought.

. .

Oh she was good at this lying thing. If she put her mind to it she could probably fabricate a story of the perfect romance taken place between her and her newly required husband. She'd leave out the mentally unstable ex wife and the father in law she slept with.

She shook herself from her thoughts. She hated think about Faye and Joseph's father. Quickly noticing that the girls' were still starring at her she decided that it was time to leave. "Well I must be going," she smiled sweetly "Joseph will be home soon and I haven't even thought what I should cook him for dinner," Picking up her shopping bag she headed towards the door "I'm sure I'll be seeing you girls again soon as were neighbors," Even at eight months pregnant and as hormonal as a teenager Jac Naylor still had it!

* * *

At half five Joseph left the surgery in daze. Jac was having his baby and the thought made him warm inside. Grinning from ear to ear Joseph began to picture the future. He could see Jac chasing the children around the garden bare foot in a short summer dress, her hair wiping across her face with a smile a mile wide. He pictured his children running from their mother with laughter escaping their perfect faces. He pictured his son Harry protecting his little sister from any dangers ahead, like all big brother's do. A girl, he was sure it would be a girl. A daughter to spoil would please Joseph so much. A little girl with her mother's eyes and hair and stubborn determination, that's what he wanted. A little girl who would look up at her father with such love and admiration that would make his heart swell with pride whenever he saw her.

This could be the second chance that he and Jac needed. Up until now they had always been one step ahead or behind the other. Neither of them really knowing what they wanted or where this would go, now they had a chance to put things right. And there was no way that Joseph was going to let an opportunity like that slip through his fingers.

Pulling out his phone he quickly dialed the number he desired. "Hello Mrs Walker it's Joseph…. Look I know its a lot to ask but something really important has come up and I was hoping you would be able to keep Harry for another couple of hours….That's great, thank you ,"

Joseph hung up the phone and headed over to Jac's hotel. It was time to man up and fight for the woman he loved.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Joseph had headed straight home after the surgery closed. A quick shower and change then back out to meet Jac. He had phoned her straight after arranging childcare for Harry and they had agreed to meet up in the local village pub. He felt nervous, he knew Jac better than anyone yet the thought of spending an evening with her terrified him.

Seeing her again this morning had stirred up so many emotions. He felt both happy and sad at the same time if that was at all possible. He was happy that she was here back in his life; he had missed her more than she would ever know. But he was also sad that he had not been there when she needed him most. Finding out she was pregnant would of terrified Jac, if only he had been there he could have helped her through it. Images of a heavily pregnant Jac demanding him to go out at 3am to find ice pops made Joseph smile. Alas this hadn't happened though and it made him wish he'd been able to play the doting boyfriend, so excited about the baby's arrival that he'd do anything to please her. Including going out in search of snacks in the middle of the night.

The idea that she had been going through all of this alone upset Joseph. He hated the thought that she had been alone at the most important parts of her pregnancy. But she wouldn't be alone when it came to the birth. He knew she'd protest and tell him that she didn't need anybody, but damn it! He needed her and he needed to be given the opportunity to see his child being brought into the world.

Then there was the issue of them, where did they stand. Joseph loved her, he always had but could they really pick up from where they left off? Would she want to? He knew he had hurt her by moving away and ultimately giving up on them. They had been through so much to together and fought so hard to finally get to where they had gotten to before he left. He knew he had been an idiot, Jac deserved better. He wasn't happy where he was now, not without her anyway.

Shaking the negative thoughts from his head he knew that he was working himself up before he even got chance to meet her. There was no point in doing so, if he was to get what he wanted he would have use his head and tread carefully, for Jac Naylor was a complicated woman and if he said or did the wrong thing he'd never win her back.

* * *

Jac was running late! Who'd have thought that getting ready for a drink in the pub would turn out to be a military operation? She had dressed and redressed, trying on endless clothes in the hope that she would feel good in something. Who was she kidding? She felt fat. People say that pregnant woman get a glow once they reach their third trimester. Ha! She felt the complete opposite to glowing. She felt crap. Her feet were constantly swollen, her back ached and her breasts were tender. To top that all off she still had morning sickness. Although Jac never understood why they called it that. It should be called all bloody day sickness. She was meeting Joseph and all she wanted was to look sexy, show him that she still had it. Yet all she felt was blah. That was the best way to describe it! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! "I don't want him seeing me like this," she sighed. After much deliberation she decided to go with the black combat maternity pants and a black ruffle top to hide her bump as much as possible.

"Black is supposed to be sliming," Jac told herself. "Maybe it will sop me looking like a whale," She left her hair down in loose curls that fell softly around her face. Joseph always loved her hair down, he told her it made her look sophisticated. She added a small butterfly clip to her hair giving it the finishing touches. She had to admit, even with her limited resources she had pulled out all the stops. She chose her make up very carefully picking eye shadows that would bring out her beautiful eyes. Standing in front of the mirror she smiled "You don't scrub up too bad do you Jac Naylor," She laughed "Pregnant yet still shagable. Even if I do say so myself,"

She headed out the door and into her taxi. She was only a little late thankfully. She was looking forward to seeing Joseph yet she was also apprehensive at the same time. They hadn't really had chance to talk this morning due to both him having patients to see and his total shock to her presence in his office. If she had her way they would reconcile. She loved him more than anything and it hurt being away from him. But she was however aware that he may no longer feel the same as her. They had been apart seven months and a lot had changed. He may not want to have anything to do with her or the baby; it was a lot to take on especially as the decision to keep the baby had been made for him. The thought of him rejecting her was awful, but the thought of him regretting their child was unbearable. Both her mother and her father had rejected Jac when she was a child and the pain of that had never left her. She didn't want her child to suffer like that.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the taxi coming to a halt. Looking around she realised that they had reached the pub. Paying that driver she bid him good night and made her way into the pub where Joseph would be waiting.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

As Jac entered the small country pub she noticed how busy it was for a Wednesday night. She began to look around for Joseph, hoping that it wouldn't be too hard to find him. She spotted him sitting at a small table in the corner next to a big log fire. Making her way over to him he quickly noticed her. As she approached him she stopped dead, looking directly into his eyes he saw fear as she raised her hand to her mouth and headed quickly back out the door.

"Typical!" Jac groaned. This had been the first day in weeks where she hadn't felt or been sick. 'Spoke too soon' she thought as she bent over once again and emptied the contents of her stomach over the pub car park. She felt a familiar voice smoothing her as he rubbed her back gently.

"Sorry," she groaned looking up at Joseph's concerned face.

"That's ok, girls tend to throw up when they look at me," he joked.

She gave him a bemused look before turning back to be sick once again.

"Ugh," she moaned, "This baby hates me,"

"Why do you say that?" Joseph laughed.

"Because I haven't gone a day without either feeling sick or being sick. Whoever said morning sickness goes after the first couple of months has obviously never been pregnant,"

"Would you rather go for a walk instead of a drink? The fresh air may do you good," Joseph suggested.

"Please," Jac nodded. Joseph led them down the country lane back towards the small village below.

"So," Jac began trying desperately to break the silence "You enjoying country life?"

"It's ok," he said a little less enthusiastic than Jac had expected.

"Just ok?" she probed a bit further.

Sighing he rubbed his hand through his hair. "It's a nice village, a great place to bring up a child…or children," He looked affectionately down at Jac's swelling stomach. Meeting her eyes, he stopped still and took her hands in his. "I miss Holby a lot though,"

Jac kept his gaze "Just Holby?" she asked.

"No not just Holby," he said smiling "I've missed you too,

"I've missed you too," Jac repeated.

"Jac," Joseph said his voice sounding serious "Can I ask you a question?" They began walking again, Joseph's hand still firmly in hers.

"Yeah,"

"Why didn't you tell me about the baby?"

He sounded hurt. Jac hated the thought of upsetting him. "I never meant to hurt you Joseph," she began her voice quiet and reflecting, "At first I was in shock, I had been told years ago that I wouldn't be able to have children. Once I got my head around the thought of being a mum I thought about contacting you but I was scared,"

"Scared?" he repeated confused.

"I was scared that you'd reject me. Tell me that you wanted nothing to do with the baby or me. Or worse you'd think I'd planned this to trap you, keep you with me in Holby. I couldn't bare the thought that you'd be disappointed or angry with me," Tears began to fall fast from her face "Damn these stupid pregnancy hormones,"

"Oh Jac," he sighed, "Never think that I could be disappointed in you," he pulled her into him, wrapping his one arm around her waist as the walked on.

"I thought about a termination," she looked up at him, noticing his horrified reaction she continued, "It was only for a brief second. I couldn't do it. I kept thinking this was my only chance to be a mum. And even better this baby was ours. I would have a part of you with me, to make up for what I had lost.

Joseph lent his head forehead against hers as they walked. "Come back to mine," Joseph said, "It's not far and it's a lot nicer than where your staying at the moment,"

"I don't know," Jac answered unsure. This was taking them into dangerous territory. They hadn't even discussed them yet.

"I promise to behave myself," he grinned "No funny stuff,"

Jac laughed, "Well then, how can I refuse,"

* * *

It only took ten minutes to get back to Joseph's house even at the speed of a waddling woman. Joseph greeted Mrs Walker as they entered the living room. "How's he been?"

"Perfect," Mrs Walker answered "Harry is always an angel,"

"Thank you for today," Joseph said handing her several notes from his wallet. "Is it ok to drop him around about eight thirty tomorrow?"

"Yes that's fine," she answered "But Mr Byrne this is way too much money," She tried to hand it back but Joseph would not accept it.

"No keep it, you did me a great favour keeping him this evening. Something really important came up and I'd have been lost without you,"

"Important?" she questioned, looking directly at Jac.

"Mrs Walker this is Jac, Jac this is Mrs Walker," Joseph began introductions " Mrs Walker looks after Harry for me during the week,: he told Jac "And Jac is…..," His what? How could explain his relationship with Jac to Mrs Walker when he had no clue himself. What could he refer to her as? My ex girlfriend, the mother of my unborn child. In the end he opted with just friend. Mrs Walker didn't sound all to convinced, especially when she noticed Jac's condition. However she didn't say anything, she just thanked Joseph for the money and bid him a good night; barely acknowledging Jac was even present.

'Stuck up cow,' Jac thought to herself watching Harry's child minder leave.

"I'll be back in a moment," Joseph told her "I just want to check on Harry. Can I get you a drink?"

"Yes please," Jac answered, "Can I have a cup of tea?"

"Certainly, I shall be back in a couple of minutes,"

After Joseph had left the room Jac began to survey the surroundings. It was a small home, but it was very cosy. Styled with old furniture and simple décor it had the feel of an old English cottage to it. Jac began to wonder around the room. She made her way over to the fireplace. She noticed several photos placed upon the shelf above the fire. There was one photo of Harry in an Easter bunny outfit, ears included. Jac laughed poor kid look less than impressed. Even barely a year old and he knew what was unfashionable. Shame his father didn't, Jac was sure that Joseph had been the one to subject the poor child to the humiliation of having to wear that costume.

The photos were a mixture of different portraits and snap shots of both family and friends. Jac picked up a photo that caught her eye and thumbed the glass where the two figures lay. It was a picture of her and Joseph that had been taken years ago, the first time they'd dated, before all the mess with his father had occurred. They looked genuinely happy in the image. It was a close up of the two of them and Joseph had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. They were kissing and looked very much in love. Where did it all go wrong? Why did she always have to put her career before her personal life? She should have chose Joseph both back when she was trying to advance her career and when he left with Harry. Instead she had listened to her head instead of following her heart and that was the biggest mistake she had ever made. She began to cry, tears falling down onto the glass making the image look slightly distorted. Distorted is how everything felt right now, she was so alone. Sure Greg had been there supporting her, but she wanted Joseph, she needed Joseph. Nothing made sense without him.

Joseph could tell she was crying the moment he walked back into the living room. Her whole body was shaking violently and there was no way she was able to silence her sobs that were coming quick and fast. Saying nothing Joseph put down the drinks and approached her from behind. Wrapping his arms around her waist he pulled her to him and rested his head upon her shoulder.

"Don't cry," he whispered. He noticed the picture she was holding in her hands and a sad smile reached his lips. He knew why she was crying. She missed them, he missed them too. There was a hole in his heart and he needed Jac to fill it.

"Sorry," she cried "I hate being pregnant, it's turned me into a right girl. I'm always crying,"

He turned her around in his arms and kissed her forehead. "I must look a mess," she whispered.

"You look beautiful," He answered sincerely. Tenderly he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, calming her instantly.

Taking her non-horrified reaction to his lips as a positive Joseph became brave and kissed her again, and again, each one becoming more passionate. He began to trail his lips from hers and down her neck, placing sweet soft kisses where he knew he would get the reaction he desired. The reaction he was looking for came quickly as Jac let out a soft low moan, telling him that she was enjoying what he was doing.

"Joseph," her breath was getting shallower "We can't do this,"

"Why not?" he asked taking a brief moment to question her reservations before returning to her neck. She gently pulled away from him, looking directly into his beautiful bright eyes.

"Things are such a mess right now," she began "We need to discuss where we stand before we do anything. Besides getting naked and showing you that I look like a whale isn't something I want to do right now. My heads all over the place,"

Sighing gently he knew she was right. He didn't want to do anything that would mess everything up. There was a chance that they might get things back on track and Joseph was going to take it. "Ok," he said kissing her head "We'll talk properly tomorrow. Stay the night," Off Jac's look he explained himself in more detail "Just stay with me in my bed. I'm not expecting anything. I just want to hold you and keep you and our baby safe and warm. Please Jac,"

Jac nodded "Ok Joe, and we'll sort everything out tomorrow?"

"Yep," he pulled her into his arms and for the first time in forever she felt like she belonged.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Jac had been soundly sleeping in Joseph's arms when she heard her phone vibrating in her handbag. Looking at the clock she groaned. Who the hell would be calling her at 1.30 am? Whoever it was would get both barrels for pulling her from her peaceful slumber.

Quietly pulling herself out of bed in the hope not to wake Joseph she quickly made her way over to where the noise was. Pulling her mobile out of her bag she read the caller id. Greg! What the hell could he want at this time of the night?

"Hello," she whispered making her way out of the bedroom.

"Jackie," Greg squealed down the phone "Your awake?"

"I am now," she hissed "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Sorry," he apologised "I just fancied a chat,"

"At one thirty in the morning! Are you drunk?"

"Maybe," he giggled like a schoolgirl. Yep he was defiantly drunk.

"Greg I was enjoying sleeping," she sighed.

"You are very lovely. Do you know that Jac?"

Jac rolled her eyes; Greg Douglas drunk was a sight to be seen. She had witnessed his drunken antics before. Usually she was of the same disposition. Holby work outings could get pretty epic. There had been many a night that she and several of her work mates had carried each other home drunk. She had seen Greg's drunken phone conversations before, yet she had never been on the receiving end of it.

Greg's incessant chatter interrupted her train of thought. "I know that you put up this 'Ice queen' persona and let everyone think you're a cold hearted bitch."

"Gee thanks Greg," Jac said sarcastically "Tell it like it is,"

"I hadn't finished," he chastised her "But underneath it all you is very lovely, and very pretty, and you is my bestest friend in the whole world,"

Jac smiled finding this drunken soppy side of Greg quite endearing "Even more bestest than Ollie?" she asked mocking him slightly.

"Even more than boy Valentine," he said seriously "I love you Jac,"

"I love you too you," she said chuckling to herself "Now go to bed and get some sleep. We'll talk properly tomorrow when you're not so drunk and giving out the love. Ok?"

"OK,"

"Oh and make sure you end up in your own bed Greg Douglas," she warned him "I don't want to hear that you've broken some poor nurses heart when I get home. Or worse catch something nasty that I have to prescribe you antibiotics for,"

"Ok mom," he mocked "Night night,"

"Night Greg," She hung up the phone, it was probably best if she turned her mobile off altogether. She wouldn't put it past Greg to try calling again. The sound of Harry's soft cries pulled her from her thoughts. Her voice must have woken him. Bloody Greg! She doubted if she'd get back to sleep at all tonight. She opened the door to his bedroom and made her way over to the cot. His cries were getting louder. Not wanting Joseph to be losing sleep as well she decided to try and calm Harry's cries herself. Picking him up, she gently shushed him until he began to quieten. As much as she had always given the impression that she hated children she was always good with them. It was from spending years in foster homes, there was always a baby that you'd have to be a surrogate sister too. She spotted the rocking chair in the corner of the room and took Harry over to it. Sitting down she lay him down in her arms and began gently rocking him back and forth.

"Hey there," she soothed "Did Jac wake you up? I'm sorry but Uncle Greg thought it was a good idea to have a chat at stupid o'clock in the morning. Isn't he silly?"

The boy in her arms smiled up at her and giggled. Warmth spread through her heart as she looked down at the image of Joseph.

"In a months time you will have a little brother or sister," By now Harry was being to fall asleep but Jac didn't care, it was nice to talk to him, he was a good listener. "You've got to promise that you'll be a good brother and always look after him or her,"

Sighing she looked back down at Harry "If I tell you something Harry you have to promise to keep it between us. I'm scared Harry. I'm scared of becoming a mum." Sensing no reaction from Harry she carried on. "I'm frightened of pain, what if I can't handle it," She paused briefly "But most of all I'm scared of not knowing what to do. What if I'm just like my mum? What if in the end all I can do is run? I spent years wondering what I did wrong, not understanding how she could abandon me. I don't want my child to ever feel like that. I don't want them to think they are unloved like I do,"

"You are loved," Joseph's voice startled her "And you will make a great mum,"

"How long have you been there?" she asked.

"Pretty much since you told Harry that Greg had woke you up," He answered "Why did he call by the way?"

"God knows," Jac answered, "He was drunk. I was probably the first number he recognised in his address book,"

Joseph sat down on the floor next to Jac and Harry "You're a natural with him,"

"Living in foster homes you get used to looking after kids," Jac answered sadly.

"You'd don't have to be scared Jac," Joseph told her putting a reassuring hand on her knee "I'll be with you every step of the way,"

"Every step?" she questioned.

"I'll be whatever you want me to be Jac," he told her

"What do you want to be?" she asked him seriously "I know we said we'd talk tomorrow, but as you've brought the subject up,"

He looked up into her beautiful eyes; even with the limited light he could see that she was searching his for an answer.

"Honestly?" He asked

She nodded. "I want you," he told her "I want you, I want us and Harry and the baby to be a family,"

"I want that too,"

Joseph's smile was a mile wide "That's great Jac. You'll love it here, we can be a proper family at last,"

"Wait," Jac looked at him puzzled "Come here and live with you. You mean while I'm on maternity leave right?"

"Well yeah," Joseph told her "But not just then, I mean forever,"

"But what about my job?" Jac asked.

"What about it?" Joseph answered "You won't be going back to work will you? The sensible thing to do is resign once your maternity leave is up,"

Jac could feel her blood boiling. How dare he? How could he expect her to give up everything she had ever worked for? Having Harry in her arms was the only thing calming her down. Frightened she was going to wake him again she spoke quietly "Do you really expect me to give up my career?"

"Well how do you expect to carry on Jac? You can hardly take a child into theatre can you"

"The baby can stay in the crèche when I'm working," Jac told him "Granted I'll have to reduce my hours but if Connie Beauchamp can do it I can't see why I can't,"

"But this can be a new start for us," he implored "We can finally be happy,"

"Not if it's all on your terms,"

"Jac this won't work any other way,"

"Oh so now you're emotionally blackmailing me?" she asked angrily

"No," he answered frustrated "I'm just asking you to think sensibly,"

"Is it sensible to give up a career that I love?" she asked distressed. "To sacrifice everything,"

"That's what you do when you have kids," he told her earnestly.

Standing up abruptly Jac put Harry back into his crib and headed back out the room. Joseph grabbed her arm "Jac please," he begged "I don't want to fight,"

"Then support me," she answered.

"I'll always support you," he told her "But you can't expect me to sit back and watch you make a big mistake. You grew up without a mother, do you really want the same thing to happen to our child?"

Jac felt like she had been winded. Tears welled up in her eyes and she could feel both her resolve and voice breaking "How. Dare. You. I am nothing like my mother," she sobbed "I would never do that to my child. I will be there for them, but that doesn't mean that I have to give up having my career," She pulled her arm free from his grip and left the room.

Joseph could hear her crying in his room, he knew he had hurt her but still he couldn't go in there and comfort her. He knew it wouldn't be what she wanted. Pregnancy had softened Jac but when she was angry it would always be best to stand well clear. Things wouldn't look so bad in the morning; he would talk to her then.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Joseph had probably the worst nights sleep on record. Having tried unsuccessfully to sleep in the rocking chair in Harry's room, he made the sensible decision to try and get his head down on the sofa. Granted it wasn't as luxurious as sleeping in his own bed but it was better than trying to sleep sitting up in that chair.

He was pretty sure that if he had attempted to get back in his own bed Jac would have kicked him out. God he was such an idiot. He really handled the situation last night badly. Comparing her with her mother had been a really awful thing to do. He regretted it as soon as he said it; he just hadn't had the bottle to go after her last night.

Deciding he had to put it right he headed into the kitchen. He'd apologise with breakfast in bed. Retrieving the sausage and eggs from the fridge Joseph went about making Jac her favourite breakfast sausage and egg sandwiches.

Popping the sausages under the grill he made the tea or coffee in Jac's case. He'd have a proper chat with Jac after breakfast, explain himself properly. They had to work it out, especially with the baby due at any time. He wasn't going to throw everything away over a silly argument.

Having fried Jac's egg he took the sausages out of the grill and preceded to make her sandwich. Taking the red sauce out of the fridge he wrote _I'm Sorry_ on top of the sausages leaving the top piece of bread off until Jac had seen his message. He knew it was cheesy but he was hoping that it might soften Jac. He knew she'd be pissed with him, rightly so, but he hoped his would thaw things between them.

Having presented everything on a tray Joseph headed upstairs. Out of politeness he knocked gently on the door.

"Jac,"

No answer!

"Jac sweetheart," he called again.

Still no answer!

Balancing the tray on one arm he open the door. He knew he should have shocked at what he saw, but he knew her well enough not to be. The room was empty! Jac Naylor did what she always did when things got uncomfortable. She ran!

* * *

Greg Douglas awoke with an incessant ringing in his ears. His head felt like the cast of River dance were rehearsing on this brain and he knew that he was in hell!

Picking up his phone he didn't bother to check his caller id "Hello," he barked.

"Bastard!" Jac yelled down the phone.

"Excuse me?" Greg answered sitting up slightly alarmed. Oh god it wasn't the cute barmaid from last night was it?

"I said Joseph Byrne is a bastard,"

"Jac is that you?"

"No it's Madame de Pompadour," Jac spat sarcastically "Is that not Louie XV?"

"What?" Greg answered confused, clearly not grasping her humour this early in the morning," "I'm so confused,"

"How can you be confused?" Jac bit "How is Joseph's a bastard so hard to understand?"

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes Greg tried to keep up with the conversation. "Ok start again," he told her yawning "First of all what time is it? And secondly what has Joseph done?"

"Ok firstly it's half seven..,"

"What! Wait! Half seven in the morning? Why the hell are you ringing me this early for?" He asked rather miffed.

"Call it payback for calling me at one thirty this morning,"

"Ok fair dos,"

"And secondly," Jac picked up from her previous sentence "He told me that I was just like my mother and that I would treat our child the way she did me. She abandoned me when I was twelve Greg. I would never do that to a child of mine,"

"What on earth made him say something like that?"

"I declined his offer to move here. I told him I didn't want to leave Holby,"

"He expected you to leave Holby?" Greg repeated.

"Yep," Jac sighed, "Look I'm going to pack up my stuff and head home,"

"No wait!" Greg jumped out of bed and started looking for his jeans "I'm coming up there,"

"There's no point," Jac told him "I'm going to head home," I should be back in Holby in a couple of hours,"

"No Jac," he answered trying to find away of getting his t-shirt on without his ear losing contact with his phone "You need to sort this out between the two of you. The baby is due soon and you want Joseph to be apart of the baby's life…as well as your own," he added.

"But…"

"No arguments Jac," by now he was tying his shoe laces "Besides I need a holiday. So I'll be there in a couple of hours. Ok?"

Groaning she knew she wasn't going to win. "OK,"

"Good," Greg grinned "I shall see you in a bit then," He hung up his phone as he began stuffing a few clothes into a small bag before heading out the door and in search for Jac.

* * *

Of all the days Joseph needed to go quickly this one wouldn't. He couldn't leave the surgery until lunchtime and Jac wasn't taking his calls. He had left her several messages pleading with her to call him back but alas she hadn't. If he were honest he didn't think she would. Jac could hold a grudge forever and he had a terrible feeling that that their baby would be in university by the time she had forgiven him.

Noticing that the clock on the wall said twelve he knew it was his queue to leave. To go and find her and sort this mess out.

Jac had been sitting on the windowsill looking out her hotel window for the past hour now. She felt a soft kick from inside her stomach and instinctively put her hand there. Smiling she began to imagine her baby, would they look more like her or Joseph. She wondered whether they'd have her fiery temperament or be more laid back like him. God help her if the baby turned out like her. She remembered how much of a pain she had been in her teenage years and prayed that Karma wouldn't bite her in the arse and give her a wild child.

She hoped her baby would be happy and not have to deal with the same sorrow that had plagued her own life. Joseph's comments had hurt her so much because the thought of her child growing up thinking they weren't loved would break her heart. She didn't want her child to end up damaged like her. She had spent so many years making so many mistakes as a result of Paula's neglect. She had gotten herself caught up in so much trouble in her youth in an attempt to get some attention. She hadn't cared whom from; it didn't matter as long as someone noticed her. It had been the same with men, flitting from one disastrous sexual encounter to the next. It was like she had convinced herself that the more men she slept with the more she was loved. How wrong could she have been! Even with all the men she had slept with only one had ever caught her heart. Joseph had made he feel like she didn't need to put up a wall. He had been so kind and gentle with her that to be treated this way seemed like an alien concept. The first time they made love taught Jac that she was important, that she was wanted. She had been so used to the men she had slept with taking what they wanted and not thinking about what they could give her that when Joseph attended her needs both in and out of the bedroom she had been very surprised.

Nobody had ever touched Jac's heart like this and it had scared her. So she did what she always did when she was scared. She put her wall back up and ran. Granted she had not gone missing but she had shut Joseph out and started having an affair with his father. The thought of Lord Byrne made her skin crawl. Yes she had used him in an attempt to get what she wanted, but if she were honest it wasn't all about that. Part of her had done it as away to subconsciously push Joseph away by replacing him with someone who would have destroyed their relationship, and in fact had. The second reason was that if she were honest with herself she saw Lord Byrne as a sort of father figure. She looked up to him; he had been there to guide her like a father should. She had always craved the affection of a father, not ever having one. Yes it was a different type of affection to the one she had received, but it was something.

Jac heard a small tap on the door, which pulled her from her thoughts and made her way over to it. Opening it she came face to face with a very nervous looking Joseph.

"What do you want?" she snapped

"To talk!" He answered dejected "Can I come in?"

"No," Jac spat bluntly before attempting to close the door. Joseph's hand stopped it though. He was a lot stronger than her, even when she was not in the condition she was in. If he had wanted he could have forced his way in but he chose not to.

"I don't want to talk to you Joseph,"

"Please Jac," he begged, "Here me out, then if you still hate me I'll go,"

A noise from behind Joseph distracted him making him turn around. With the opportunity granted and without saying a word Jac slammed the door shut in his face.

"Jac!" he yelled banging on the door "Jac,"

She ignored him.

"Jac,"

His banging went on for several minutes with Jac still ignoring him before it went quiet. Enjoying the peace Jac sat back down on the windowsill, but it wasn't longing before the door was being knocked again. Frustrated Jac quickly got up and made her way back over to the door. Her face was like fury; Joseph Byrne was about to feel her wrath. Mustering up all the strength she had she swung the door open.

Her usually pale face was red with anger "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" she screamed at the person before her.

"Well a hug and a pint would be nice," A familiar Irish accent told her "Not necessarily in that order mind,"

"GREG!" Jac squealed jumping into his arms. She wrapped herself around him and he kissed her hair tenderly. "I'm sorry I thought you were Joseph,"

"Nah," he laughed "I'm much more handsome," He looked down at her, arms still wrapped around her. "How bout we go get something to eat? I'm starving,"

Jac nodded enthusiastically "Ok,"

"It'll give us chance to sort out your way too complicated love life," he joked as they headed out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Joseph knew he was going to be late back to the surgery, but right now he didn't care. He felt at a loss, not knowing what move to make next. He was going to lose Jac for good. That future he had pictured in his mind was slowly slipping away and there was nothing he could do about it. Tears began to form in his eyes as the image of his child slowly faded. He desperately wanted to be part of his child's life but if he couldn't sort out his problems with Jac then he never would.

As kind hearted and affectionate as Joseph was he had always been taught to keep his emotions hidden away. If you were hurt then suck it up and get on with it and for gods sake don't start crying. Weak little boys cry, not children of Lord and Lady Byrne that would never do.

He had always promised himself that he would never let a child of his think that they weren't allowed to cry. If they wanted to get upset, cry, scream, throw things he'd be there to hug them and make it alright. As brave as he tried to be, the weak little boy in his father's eyes came through and the tears began to fall fast. He let out a small sob as he tried and failed to stop the tears.

"Doctor Byrne," A small voice called concerned behind him.

Joseph turned around and quickly tried to wipe his tears away. "Is everything ok? It's not your wife is it?"

"My wife?" Joseph asked confused.

"Yes," The young woman in front of him confirmed "Lucy from the shop meet her yesterday. She said she seemed like a lovely woman and very pretty,"

Joseph was dumbfounded; he had no clue what this woman was on about.

"Oh by the way congratulations, Lucy said she was pregnant,"

The only person Joseph could think she meant was Jac. Why on earth did she think Jac was his wife? Noticing his confused look the girl decided to probe further. "Lucy said her name was Jac. She is your wife isn't she? She told Lucy she was,"

"Err yes, Jac's my wife," his smile was genuine, he loved being able to call her his wife, and it seemed so natural, so right. He had always imagined his wedding to Jac as a simple one. A few close family and friends. Jac looking both beautiful and elegant in a simple but stunning dress. The thought warmed his heart and he knew what he had to do. "Thank you,"

"What for?" The girl asked extremely confused.

"For making me want to save the future," He grinned, "I have to go," he squeezed her shoulders before running off in the direction he had come.

* * *

Jac had taken Greg to the pub she had met Joseph in last night. Sitting down at a table they both began to scan through the food menu.

"So," Greg began "What's going on with you and Joseph then?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Jac answered abruptly. She took a sip of her lemonade. Oh how she wished it were wine. Part of her loved being pregnant, but most of her just missed alcohol, especially when she was stressed.

"Tough!" Greg responded causing Jac to look up at him in surprise.

"Really Greg?" She asked her tone full of authority "Are you seriously trying to pick a fight with me? And not just any me, but a pregnant hormonal me,"

Greg laughed "Granted you are scary enough without being a girly hormonal mess," Jac scowled at him but he carried on "I shall be brave and put you in your place because if you want to be happy Jac then you need to sort this out with Joseph,"

Jac sighed, "I know,"

"Then are you going to let Uncle Greg fix things?" he grinned.

"Maybe," Jac answered slightly unsure "What's the catch?"

"If I managed to do turn your relationship into a Disney romance you have to call your first born after me,"

"Ha!" Jac laughed, "What if it's a girl?"

"I think Greg would be a fetching name for a little girl,"

"Your crazy," Jac laughed

"And your going to tell me what happened between you and Joseph. From the start ok,"

"Yes sir," Jac mocked.

They had both gotten through lunch by the time Jac had finished her tale.

"So how did he take the sight of a very pregnant you standing in his office?"

"I think he was too shocked to say anything. He called me after he finished work and we met up,"

"And?"

"Well it started out well enough. I turned up to meet him and vomited everywhere,"

"Nice," Greg laughed "Then what?"

"We went for a walk and ended up going back to his place,"

"Ha! Ha!" Greg grinned with delight "That's my girl!"

"What?" Jac asked confused "Nothing happened," Off his slightly cynical expression Jac carried on "Not how you're thinking anyway. We just fell asleep together; he held me and kept me warm. Well that was until a very annoying Irishman decided to call at stupid o'clock to tell me he loved me and that I was pretty," she gave him a pointed look "After that it kinda went down hill,"

"Sorry," Greg said sheepishly "Does it help that this Irishman will pay for lunch?"

"It's a start," Jac grinned.

Ordering two more drinks Greg sat back down at the table "So then what happened?"

"Joseph heard me talking to Harry and came in," Jac answered, "We talked about my mom and about his insane idea about me moving here. That's when it got heated,"

"Right, now I think I'm up to speed," Greg confirmed "How about you let me talk to him?"

Jac laughed, "I don't think that's a good idea Greg. Joseph doesn't like people knowing his business,"

"I'm not just people though am I?" he told her "I'm Uncle Greg, future godfather to this little one," he indicated to her rounded belly.

"Of course you are," Jac agreed "Just tread carefully with Joseph Greg. He might look mild mannered but believe me he has a temper on him,"

"I can handle myself Jac don't worry," Greg grinned, "Right Ms Naylor we are going out,"

"We are out," Jac observed.

"No I mean out out," Greg explained yet Jac still looked confused.

"A club," he grinned.

"NO!"

"Yes," he said getting up from the table "We are going back to your hotel, you are getting dolled up and we are going out this evening,"

"Are you forgetting that I'm pregnant," she sighed.

"Just because your pregnant doesn't mean you can't go dancing, just wear sensible shoes,"

"Aww Greg," she groaned as he pulled her up from her chair. Following her out he heard her complain "I should of called Sasha instead,"


End file.
